actually, I'm a sock model
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
