True but thats because hes a fetus.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
