Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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