I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
