I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I could fuck to npr.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
