Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
