I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
