i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
