So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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