Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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