Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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