Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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