He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
