Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
