her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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