This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
