a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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