I wanna bring you to show and tell
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Randomize
