Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away

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(678): View more from Georgia

We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.

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(847): View more from Illinois

well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."

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(503): View more from Oregon

Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.

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(330): View more from Ohio

We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling

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