do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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