I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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