Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
