sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I have fence marks all over my body
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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