After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How does one acquire holy water?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
