She is in my trunk
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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