you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
