Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Randomize
