she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
How external is "for external use only"?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
