I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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