At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
