can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
