Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
