I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
