I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
