A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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