I wish I could teleport
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I supernannyed him into submission
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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