never play flip cup with pint glasses
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
