You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
