He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
