its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
