he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
