I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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