But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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