Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
