he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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