I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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