the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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