The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
