why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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