if you like me you must not know who I am
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
